I'm not always nice. And maybe that's okay.

The other day I took all three girls to Jane's physical therapy appointment, and by the time we left, all of us were hot, hungry and cranky. I was pushing Jane in the stroller and Maggie was walking beside me, but Audrey kept lagging behind, smelling flowers and inspecting plants. We still had to walk a couple of blocks to get to the car, and I was in no mood.

I kept asking Audrey to hurry up, and finally in frustration I called out, "I'm leaving now! Goodbye!" and started walking away.

Just then a middle-aged woman was walking past, and she said in a nasty tone, "You're not very nice."

I was so surprised I just turned around and watched her walk away, and finally I called out cheerfully, "Don't worry, I've got it all under control!" She didn't react; I don't know if she even heard me.

Audrey caught up and we were on our way, but I kept hearing that woman's voice in my head. It was kind of true--at that moment I wasn't being very nice. Audrey certainly was in no danger, but I know that she doesn't like being left behind like that. On the other hand, my not-nice method worked beautifully.

The more I thought about it, the more I felt okay with the woman's assessment. After all, if I were making my list of what kind of mom I want to be, I don't think "nice" would even make the top ten. I strive to be loving, creative, fair, firm, inspirational, instructive, guiding, happy, fun, and comforting.

Nice is, well, nice if it happens, but I must admit it's not a big priority. I'm not sure that being a nice mom is necessarily what my kids need, as opposed to a loving but firm mom who isn't afraid to break out the mean-voice when needed.

Besides, there is one thing I am absolutely sure of. That woman--passing judgment on a stranger struggling down the sidewalk with three small children--wasn't very nice.

Natural History Museum

Treehouse progress

A couple weeks ago, Robert announced that he intended to build a treehouse. He's put in a few hours each weekend and some weeknights, has made more than a few trips to the hardware store, and has made quite a bit of progress so far.

We currently have a sturdy platform five feet off the ground, right up against the tree trunk. Next up: rails, slide, and ladder. Eventually he plans to also build a second level up in the tree branches.

Family update

Maggie: Seems suddenly taller, smarter, funnier, more beautiful than ever before. Has a big permanent tooth growing in where she lost her first baby tooth. Has freckles and a tan, despite the thick coating of sunscreen I put on her every day. Loves going to daycamp three days a week. Reports that she can "almost swim." Is starting a 5-session summer reading course this weekend. Is excitedly planning her 6th birthday.

Audrey: Has become fearful of a lot of things: the dark, going places in the house by herself, monsters, ghosts, walking skeletons. I vividly remember being scared of things when I was a child, so I am very sympathetic and try to do everything I can to help her cope. Loves daycamp and is proud of the badges she's earned for swimming and horseback riding. Doesn't miss preschool at all.

Jane: Talking up a storm. Putting together four and five-word sentences if you count a little mumbling in the middle. Makes her thoughts and wishes known clearly most of the time and seems to understand everything we say to her. I've been taking her to Music Together, which I thought she'd like, but unfortunately she seems to get overwhelmed by the noise and activity, and prefers to be held during most of the class. Today will be our third session, and I'm hoping she'll enjoy it more this time.

Robert: Working, and on the weekends, building an awesome treehouse in the backyard. I'm going to post some photos of his progress soon.

Deborah: Still doing a little bit of editing work for DC Public Schools. It's been an interesting project, and I'm certainly looking forward to the paycheck! I had a friend contact me about some more freelance work, and I hope it works out. Now that I've gotten back into the groove of working, I kind of want to keep it up. But, I'm also thinking of my fiction writing and trying to get back into that groove too.

Olvera Street

Yesterday, we took the train downtown to Olvera Street, where I'd never been and where Robert hasn't been since childhood. We got some good Mexican food for lunch (at high tourist prices, though!), and the girls had fun (hard to tell at times, due to the intense levels of complaining brought on by the heat).

Riding the train (Janey's first time--you'd think she would have been excited to ride on her beloved choo-choo, but she was largely unimpressed):

Maggie acted quite the seasoned traveler:

At Union Station:


Shopping for trinkets:

Maggie chose this wooden flute:

Jane was very happy with her ring pop:


Audrey was all tuckered out by the end:

Best friends, bitter rivals

The sibling relationship is fascinating. Maggie and Audrey are closer to each other than anyone else in the world, they share everything (including a bedroom, their toys, and even some clothes), and most of the time they get along amazingly well.

Of course, they also fight sometimes. But what really cracks me up are the casual asides each of them will drop from time to time.

More than once, Maggie has said, "I wish you had stopped having kids after me." Or, "What is that thing you call a kid when they don't have brothers or sisters? An only child? I wish I was an only child."

Audrey has started on a similar theme, though she feels more generous toward Jane. Once, she waltzed past me singing prettily, "I love Mommy, I love Daddy, I love Janey, but I don't love Maggie...." And the other day in the car, out of the blue she told me, "I wish our family was just Mom, Dad, Jane, and Audrey!"

Audrey has also been telling me that she wishes she were a baby, that she were younger than Jane, etc. At such times I take my cue and snug her up like a little baby, sing her a lullaby, and even put her in Jane's crib. She loves it.

Maggie doesn't like to be treated like a baby, but she loves for me to make her feel special in other ways. One night recently I told her that when she was a tiny baby, I loved her so much that I couldn't bear to be away from her, so I quit my fancy grown-up job just so I could stay home every day and hold her and watch her get big. She got the biggest, happiest smile on her face, and she told me "That makes me feel really good!" Makes me feel pretty good, too.

Audrey, the little comedian

The other day at the movie theater, I took Audrey into a stall to go to the bathroom before the film started. As she so often does, she spoke up extremely loudly:

"I love to pee! It feels so warm and good!"

A minute later, as I was helping her pull up her shorts:

"Mommeeee...I need some help with my bottom!"

And finally, the punch line:

"Smell my hand!"

Photos by Audrey

Photos by Maggie

Afternoon of Americana

We took the girls to the Americana, an outdoor mall, for lunch/dinner (it was 3 pm, so it kind of served as both) at Katsuya, playtime by the fountains, a ride on the trolley, and to see the film Up (which all five of us really enjoyed). It was pretty much a perfect afternoon.

Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine

My brothers and I loved our Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine when we were kids. I fondly remember making sno-cones with them, or at least watching them make them. I pitifully remember it as one of the rare times they would let me sort of participate in something fun. (aww...poor little sister.)

When I worked at eToys circa 1999 (egads, has it really been 10 years??) I picked up this perfect, retro Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine at one of the fabulous employee sample sales. It's been sitting on a shelf ever since...until Maggie found it and asked to try it.

She and Audrey had a great time making the sno-cones (okay, and so did I). And Jane enjoyed helping to eat them (go littlest sister, go!).

4th of July

We had a great 4th of July weekend with lots of activities. On Thursday the 2nd, we held our annual barbecue and fireworks party. I think we've been doing this pretty much every year since 2001, though some years it was just us, or maybe one other family.

This year we went nuts and invited more than 50 people...and they ALL CAME! It was our biggest party ever (not counting the wedding, I guess), and I'd have to say it was a big success. Robert barbecued hotdogs, we filled up the coolers with sodas and juice boxes and beer, and everyone brought food and drinks to share. The kids all ran around like wild animals of course. When it got dark I handed out 20 glow in the dark bracelets, and there were a few babies who didn't even get them...so my higher math skills tell me that we had at least 23 children present. Wow.

At 9:30pm, we all camped out on the front yard to watch the fireworks show put on by the country club down the street. Later, one of my friends told me she had the most wonderful feeling at that moment, being surrounded by friends and neighbors outdoors, watching the fireworks together. I knew exactly what she meant.

I didn't take many photos that night, but here are a couple shots of the girls (plus their good buddy Rocco):



Speaking of the country club, after thinking about it for years, we finally decided to join. It's literally one block away and has lots of attractions for us, including a restaurant, kids club (with babysitting at certain hours), playground and pool. We've visited the pool area several times already, and the girls especially love the one-foot-deep wading pool.


Rounding out our Independence Day festivities, last night we attended a party with friends and coworkers above the Rose Bowl, where we ate Mexican food, played in the grass, and watched the excellent fireworks show. All these years in this area, and this was our first time watching the Rose Bowl fireworks, which are supposed to be among the best in the country. They were pretty awesome, I must say.

Tea party breakfast

At peace

I agree to let Audrey and Jane paint with watercolors.

After making one swipe each on their papers, Audrey begins painting her fingernails and Jane begins sipping the paint water one drip at a time from the end of her paintbrush.

A quick checklist forms in my head. Will this kill them? No. Will it make a mess that takes longer than 5 minutes to clean up? No. Are they content and quiet? Yes.

The balance sheet is clear. I avert my eyes and continue reading the internets. (But first take a moment to snap photos.)