Happy 4th birthday to Audrey

Happy birthday Audrey! If I close my eyes, I can picture Audrey as an eight-pound newborn with fuzzy blonde hair, unfocused blue-gray eyes, and pouty lips. I remember holding her close and thinking that I was just getting to know this brand new little Audrey Elizabeth. I knew she was a girl and I knew she was beautiful, but all the rest stretched before us as a wonderful mystery to unfold.

Four years later, there's a lot I know about this person. She is funny, loves to make people laugh, and is always ready to join in anything silly with her big belly laugh. She has an uncanny ability to make up rhymes, many of which are quite clever and surprise us with their creativity. She is sweet and kind, thoughtful most of the time, and extremely affectionate and loving. She is also the clingiest of my three girls. She needs a lot of hugs and attention, a lot of reassurance, and if a couple days go by when she and I haven't had much time together, she starts to get sad and mopey and pitifully clingy. When I see this, I stop everything and focus on Audrey, and she lights up like sunshine.

Audrey loves to sing and dance, read stories, dress up like a princess, build puzzles, play with Barbies and other big kid toys, and do craft projects (she is all the time making tiny cards and pictures for the people she loves, and will often seal them up in an envelope and hand them to me to mail before I even see what's inside). She loves animals, says she wants to be a veterinarian when she grows up, and likes to pretend to be a kitty or puppy. She was enchanted by the birthday gift we got her: a Barbie veterinarian set. I have mixed feelings about Barbies, but at least this iteration shows Barbie with an admirable career!

A few days ago, Robert and I took Audrey out alone for her birthday outing. She chose Kidspace, lunch at CPK, and getting her nails painted with blue sparkle polish. It was fun hanging out only with Audrey, and so relaxing compared to our usual chaos. Audrey basked in the attention.

Though spending time as the only kid is a special treat for Audrey, she dearly loves her sisters. She and Jane play together sometimes, though often they seem to be in competition for my attention. If one of them has something, the other must have it too! Meanwhile, Audrey and Maggie are truly best friends, and each day holds many shared secrets, arguments, hugs, and adventures for the two of them.


Audrey loves to help me cook, and in fact helped make her own birthday cake today. She picked out the flavors: lemon cake with vanilla frosting and pink decorations. She helped me with every step, especially taste-testing the frosting and placing all the decorations on top. For her birthday dinner, she requested her Daddy to bring home pizza and buttered noodles. I didn't even try to pretend we were having a fruit or vegetable too; we all ate pizza and noodles and then huge slices of cake. It was good.

Audrey spent most of her birthday today at day camp. It was her third day there, and she is loving it. She reports that the best part is riding horses, especially the beautiful white horse that is her favorite. She also likes swimming. This morning I arranged to visit and bring blueberry muffins for her group. I got to stay while they ate their lunches under the trees, and for a minute I wished I could be a kid at camp too.

Is it really possible, that the 8-pound baby I held four years ago now goes to day camp, has completed a year of preschool, tells knock-knock jokes, has strong opinions about her hairstyles, and prefers to wear a dress or skirt every day? There's so much I know about Audrey, and I love every bit of her. Thinking of how much more I'll get to know in the coming years--the discoveries of who she is and what she likes, her dreams and ambitions and challenges--makes my heart open up with joy and anticipation. I feel so blessed to be a mommy to this girl, to have the great privilege of guiding her through life and witnessing her future unfold.

Happy birthday Audrey. I wish for you 100 more of them, each as perfect and joyful as this one.

Dreams

Audrey woke me up at 2 a.m. last night, wide eyed and shaky, and told me she'd had a very bad dream. I snugged her up and she whispered, "It was a crocodile, and he was making me into a pie."

I had to hide my smile. That must be the cutest nightmare ever.

This morning she didn't say anything about that dream, but she told me that sometimes she dreams an old woman is driving her around in a car. I was worried this might be another bad dream, but Audrey smiled and said, "I think it's GG" (their nickname for their great-grandmother Graff, who died last year). I was happy that this one turned out to be the sweetest sort of dream.

First day of summer camp

Maggie and Audrey started their first day at Tom Sawyer summer camp today. They'll be swimming and riding horses...and they get picked up and dropped off at the house! Yes, that's MY favorite part.

Both of them were super excited this morning and not at all apprehensive. Maggie ran to her van and climbed in without a backward glance. Audrey was just as happy to get on her van when it came, and we were both happy to see a friend from preschool on board already.

I can't wait to hear all about it when they get home. Plus, the camp posts photos online every day, so I'll be on the lookout for pictures of the girls.

Happy 2nd birthday to Jane!

Happy second birthday, Jane!

Does this mean that for the first time in six years, I truly don't have a baby? My sweet little Jane is two today. She's more wobbly than most toddlers and she dearly loves to cuddle, but in most ways Jane is turning into a big, active, brave, funny kid.

In keeping with the Graff Girl tradition, Robert and I took Jane out alone for a birthday outing. We kept it simple and took her to Vroman's, a wonderful local bookstore with a huge children's section full of books, toys, a train table, and other great stuff. Jane loves trains and really enjoyed pushing the choo-choos around the track. We picked out a Thomas train and book for her before we left. Then we went with the big girls for dinner at Islands, where Janey quite enjoyed her chips, hamburger patty, apple sauce, and a chocolate milkshake.

Jane tries really hard not to let her gross motor delay slow her down. She has lately started attempting to run, and will often get quite a few quick little steps in (sometimes without even falling down at the end). She loves going to the backyard, and will say "outside? outside?" while trying to open the patio door. Lately I've been letting her out more often to wander. She goes into the little playhouse, inspects the flowers and plants (more gently than her big sister Audrey, who is known for plucking everything), scatters the plastic toys, and goes up and down the slides by herself.

Inside the house, one of her favorite toys is the Little People roller coaster I recently got out for her--she loves to put the little car at the top and watches it zoom down the crack. She also loves her babies and stuffed animals, and will carry them around or push them in her little stroller all over the house. She is still my chief organizer: any cabinet, basket, or bag full of stuff is irresistible to Jane. She simply must take everything out, inspect it, and occasionally see how it feels in her mouth (especially if it's my make-up).

Sometimes it seems like Jane doesn't eat anything except milk and juice. I try not to let her have too much of the latter, though she begs for "a box?" (juice box) or "juice?" pretty much every time she happens to pass the refrigerator. She usually only gets one dose a day, though at parties I loosen up and she will usually consume more. Jane also likes to ask for "canny," though we've turned this one into a joke. I'll ask her "What's for dinner?" and she'll say "canny?" and I'll say "candy?!!" and we'll both say "noooo!"

Jane does like to eat her wheat-free bread, lunch meat, the occasional string cheese, most fruits, oatmeal, waffles, popcorn, and chocolate. Although broccoli was one of her favorite foods when she was a baby, now I can almost never get her to eat a vegetable. I keep putting them in front of her, and I just have to trust that someday she'll start eating them again.

Jane's speaking has really picked up lately. Her vocabulary must be around 100 words now, and she's stringing together two and three words at a time. She's still harder to understand than her sisters at this age, but Robert, the girls, and I usually knows what she means.

Jane is close to both our parents, which is such a gift and blessing to us all. She loves her Gammas and Papas, and we appreciate all the time they spend with her. Jane also loves her babysitter Liz, who has been taking care of her more often lately while I've been doing a freelance editing job.

Jane adores both her sisters. It's amazing how thoughtful she is to them. She will ask me to watch TV ("a show? peeeeese?") and when I turn one on, she will toddle off to find the girls. "Maggie? Audrey? A show! A shoooowwwww!" In the morning when I get her from her crib, the first thing she wants to know is their status. "Maggie? Audrey?" she asks me. If we're in the car and she sees we're heading for one of their schools, she starts squealing and laughing.

Jane also loves her playgroup friends. We've been in the same playgroup (through the MOMS Club of Altadena) since she was an infant. Now, the one boy and five girls in the group are her dearest friends, and she knows them all by name. When she's with them she will often act shy and not do much interacting (this is something we're addressing in her therapy), but she loves to talk about them and is always excited when we're going to see them.

Come to think of it, Jane did much better at her birthday party than I had expected. Usually, groups seem to overwhelm Jane and make her quiet and clingy. But she had a grand time at the party, wandering all over the yard, helping herself to juice boxes, and grinning at everyone.

Things have been busy lately, but it was nice to slow down and spend some time focusing on Jane today. It feels like the past two years have passed by in a few heartbeats, and I'm sure the next two years will be just as fast. I want to slow down, hold Jane close, soak up her sweetness, and thoroughly enjoy the baby she's leaving behind and the kid she's becoming.

The end of kindergarten

Tomorrow is Maggie's last day of kindergarten. Have nine months ever passed by so quickly? Maggie had some challenges along the way. She never made any close friends, and sometimes struggled to get along with classmates.

But she often played with the sweetest girls in her class and reported back on small kindnesses: sharing pretzels, building "cakes" out of sand, taking turns on the swings. She also had a lot of fun chasing boys and playing Power Rangers with them--though occasionally she annoyed some of her favorite boys by attempting a few too many hugs and kisses.

Maggie seems to have gone through growth and developmental leaps lately. I swear she's grown one or two inches in her legs and is skinnier than ever. She also has one tooth on the bottom that is extremely loose. She has been watching her classmates lose their teeth all year and is anxious to get on with it herself.

Maggie did really well on her school work all year long. Sometimes she didn't feel like doing homework, but most of the time it wasn't hard to get her to do it. Every Monday a packet came home and we had all week to complete it. She enjoyed the coloring and math pages the most and always wanted to do those first. She didn't like the book reports and writing assignments quite as much, mainly I think because it took her so long to write out the letters. But she always enjoyed drawing the pictures to go with them, and now that she has all that work bundled into booklets, she is quite proud.

I had a lot of fun volunteering in Maggie's class. I wish I could have been there even more often than I was, though I did manage to average about 2 hours a week. It was nice getting to know all the kids and observing the teaching and classroom interactions. I feel very fortunate in Maggie's teachers, who were both wonderful, dedicated, enthusiastic educators.

Today we had the kindergarten luau, a famous event that the kids have been looking forward to for weeks. My mom came too to help me with Audrey and Jane, and I (wo)manned a craft table for two hours.

I am so proud and happy over the friendship that Maggie and Audrey share. They fight sometimes (of course), but most of the time they get along amazingly well. Maggie does a great job looking out for her little sister, and they love spending time together and sharing (almost) everything.

Maggie is really looking forward to first grade in the fall. It'll be quite different; for one thing, she'll be going all day (6 1/2 hours) instead of half-day. And I've heard there's more homework and much higher expectations in general. Maggie is on the young side of things; she had classmates a full year older than she is. But she managed kindergarten well, and I am confident she'll be ready to excel in first grade too.

Roast mommies with secret sauce

Most horrible recipe ever, courtesy of Audrey:

I know what I'm making for breakfast. ROAST MOMMIES.

(I pretend to be scared.)

Don't worry, Mommy. I'm just using DEAD mommies.

Me: Where are you going to find dead mommies?

I'm going to find them at Heaven. The mommies are going to have secret sauce on them. I'm going to soak up their meat.

We're just going to have three roast mommies. I mean two. We'll eat them for dinner. I like roast mommy meat with sauce.

Audrey & Jane's Party

Today we celebrated Audrey's 4th and Jane's 2nd birthdays with a big party in the backyard. The weather here has been cold and overcast and drizzly lately, so we feared we'd have to move our bug-themed party indoors. But the weather cleared at the last minute and was dry enough that we chanced keeping it outdoors...and were rewarded with some beautiful rays of sunshine by the end of the party.

For decorations, we had our usual banners up, some hanging bug pictures, and balloons (including a fabulous big butterfly balloon).

The giant bounce house (with a very zoomy slide inside) was a big hit. One of my favorite moments from the party was when I went inside with Jane. We rode down the slide together a few times, and she shrieked and giggled with so much joy that I had to laugh too.


After playtime and lunch (hotdogs, pasta salad, fruit, chips), we had a bug hunt with about 200 plastic bugs scattered all over the yard. The kids had loot bags to hold the bugs they found. If they found a sparkle bug (one that the girls and I had decorated with gold paint and sparkles), they could turn it in for a bug necklace.

We also had a butterfly pinata filled with candy and stickers.

Jane was super happy and excited the entire party. She had a great time.

For crafts, everyone decorated wings and made antenna. Jane was mainly interested in coloring her own skin with markers, but Maggie and Audrey applied themselves to the task.


We also had a (very small) bug zoo consisting of a borrowed scorpion and a zillion ladybugs.



Jane didn't seem to eat anything the entire day, but she did help herself to a minimum of four juice boxes.

For dessert, I made dirt cups with pudding and oreo cookie crumbs.


We also had mini cupcakes from Polkatots, plus a regular sized strawberry cupcake for Audrey and a wheat-free vanilla cupcake for Jane.


We all sang happy birthday to the girls.


Here we are with the birthday girls!

Maggie at the aquarium

Maggie's kindergarten class went on a LOT of field trips this year--about 10 I think. I was able to go to most of them, and I especially wanted to attend the last one of the year to the Aquarium of the Pacific.

Maggie was overjoyed to have me ride the bus with her, and the two of us had a fantastic time browsing the aquarium for two hours at our own pace. We bumped into classmates now and then, but Maggie led me around and we spent as much or as little time at each exhibit as she wanted. It's always special getting to spend one-on-one time with one of the girls.

I let her pick out something in the gift shop for herself and her sisters. She decided on this trio of sea horses, naming them Pinkyhead, Sky, and Patrick. The pink one went to Audrey, who promptly renamed her Rainbow. The blue one, Sky, went to Jane. And Maggie is very happy with her green Patrick.

And look, I'm writing something new too

I've started a new freelance job, editing web content for the D.C. public school system's website. It's interesting stuff and the kind of work I feel I'm good at and enjoy doing. I'm glad to be working again.

I managed to get some hours in this weekend, and I'm setting up some extra babysitting to help me during the week.

An interesting effect I've noticed in recent years is that my attention span is much shorter than it used to be. When I'm working, I can only seem to really concentrate and be productive for about an hour at a time. Then I simply must get up and do something different for a while. 

I don't remember needing to do that back when I was a fulltime office worker. It seems weird to me now that I used to spend 9+ hours a day mostly at a desk, working working working. Now, I'm so much more used to being up, down, in, out, talking, cleaning, driving, playing, cooking, shepherding, disciplining, etc etc etc...all day long...that I get antsy when I try to sit still for very long. 

On the other hand, my brain is enjoying the exercise. When I take those breaks from sitting at the computer to do a little housework or engage with the kids, I feel refreshed in a way that I don't get from other things, like reading a novel or watching TV. I think the challenge of the work is giving my mind a nice recharge. I suddenly want to be more productive in all areas of my life.

But we'll see how long that feeling lasts!

More for you to read

My brother David has started writing a weekly column for the Daily Beast. 

It's a cool gig, and as usual, he does an excellent job recommending new thrillers and mysteries to read. Please click over to take a look, and maybe even leave a comment if you like his column. Let's make sure he gets a good showing on his first day on the new job!

And more

My smart and interesting brother Bob has been blogging somewhat sporadically for years. Apparently he had built up his writing to four blogs going at the same time, though I only knew about two of them. Seems fishy. 

Anyway, he decided to consolidate them all under one roof, and since his stuff is pretty entertaining (at least to blood kin), I thought you might want to visit him over at Oak Park Woodworker and More. He might get a kick out of increasing his readership to double digits!

Tasty