Happy fourth birthday to Maggie! Maggie's own feelings about her birthday are a good reflection of my own. She has been very excited about the fun details: her birthday shirt, taking cupcakes to preschool, her ballerina party this Sunday. But she's also been expressing some sadness and anxiety about getting older. A few days ago she was fretting about going to kindergarten (which is a whole year away!) and yesterday she told me she wants to stay three years old. This morning she was delighted when I sang happy birthday to her, but when Audrey did the same a few minutes later Maggie got upset and said she didn't want it to be her birthday.
I too am bittersweet about her birthday. I am just as excited as she is about the details and the festivities, but when I stop to contemplate how big she is getting, how mature her face looks all of a sudden, how quickly she has transformed from a baby to a big girl...I feel a bit sad.
My feelings aren't surprising, but you wouldn't think a 4-year-old would have mixed feelings about her birthday! But we all know Maggie is a dramatic and sensitive kid. I love these qualities of hers, though I sometimes wonder if life will be a little harder for her because of them. Maggie has always seemed to feel things deeply and to have a tendency toward moodiness. Now that I have Audrey's growing personality to compare Maggie's to, these qualities seem even more pronounced.
Perhaps she will turn out to be the prototypical "sensitive artist." Maggie has loved to do art since she was just over a year old. She may not be the most coordinated kid, but I think she is creative and has a good eye for things. In the hotel we were at last weekend, she was studying a nondescript (to me) piece of art hanging on the wall. She pointed out that it had both "paint and drawing" on it. I looked, and sure enough the artist had first painted splotches of color and then added line drawings in pencil. Maggie wanted to talk about the differences and how it looked, and concluded with an intention to try it herself when we got home.
Her scissor skills have increased enormously, and she enjoys cutting out slips of paper and projects at school and at home. Yesterday she came home from school with a pile of little jagged pieces of paper. I was about to surreptitiously throw them away when she exclaimed that they are "birthday cards for all my friends, to hand out at my party!" So, we kept them. Maggie loves to give away and mail her artwork to friends and relations.
Maggie has a sweet, high pitched voice with a tone as clear as a bell. We're used to it, but people who don't spend as much time with her often comment on her cute voice. She likes to sing and her pitch is improving, though is still not terribly accurate. She knows the lyrics to lots of songs, but when she can't quite remember them she doesn't hesitate to make up her own.
She has a similar skill when it comes to language. When she needs a word but doesn't know the right one (or it doesn't exist in English), she simply makes one up. A good example is the word "lasterday" which she uses to refer to a vague time in the past. She understands the concept of yesterday, but this word is different. She might say "I did that in school lasterday" and that could mean a few days ago, a week ago, etc.
Her imaginary friend is still with us. Fenwheel has grown a last name, Heaven, and variously lives in Heaven, Virginia, the mountains or other locations. Maggie usually calls him her brother, though she's also said she's going to marry him. I've been following advice I read in a parenting book that instructs parents to acknowledge the imaginary friend, but not to either encourage or deny details. So when Maggie mentions Fenwheel I just respond with "oh really" or "that's interesting." Usually she uses Fenwheel to explain how she learned something or to talk about something she especially likes (ie, "My brother has lots of trains at his house.").
I am constantly fascinated by the relationships among the three girls. Maggie and Audrey are truly best friends. The older they get, the more they seem like peers and are able to play together for extended periods of time. I am often busy with Janey and leave the two of them to their own devices. It turns out this is a good thing, as they are quite creative and adventurous together. They are all the time playing "pirate ship" in the backyard, or clearing away the toys so they can dance, or setting up dolls and blankets in the hallway for a camp-out, or getting out crayons to work on drawings together. Maggie is the leader and expert on most things. It's funny to see how Audrey sometimes looks to Maggie to see how she should react to situations or respond to questions. Audrey adores her big sister, and Maggie loves her back.
Maggie has grown a protective streak. Recently I took the girls to a McDonald's indoor playground, and the two of them played happily for an hour while I held Jane. Maggie was quite protective of Audrey, and made sure she knew where Audrey was at all times, held her hand and shielded her from the loud rambunctious boys. She's even more protective of Jane. When I take Jane into preschool, all the kids cluster around to see her. Maggie will proudly hold court next to her baby, instructing her friends to admire her: "This is my baby sister Jane. Isn't she beautiful?" and making sure nobody touches her. She often asks to hold Jane. She also likes to stroke Jane's head, play with her feet, smile at her and talk to her.
Maggie is a good-natured, sweet girl, but she has her difficult moments. She had a brief phase of being very rude with me (complete with condescending tone of voice) but fortunately it seems to have passed. Usually the thing that irritates me most is when she ignores me when I'm telling her to do something, and waits until I'm worked up and yelling before complying. I know I shouldn't get worked up, but sometimes I just can't help it. She still sometimes "goes gandhi" as we call it, employing passive resistance (often with a mischievous little smile) to resist doing what she doesn't want to do. If we are in a hurry and I need her to get ready to go, for example, she will sometimes just curl up on her bed with a little smile and let her body go limp when I try to pull her up or move her along. She also has developed a bad habit of resisting bedtime and making numerous trips out to the family room when she's supposed to be in bed. She always tiptoes out with a saucy little grin and a cute excuse that make it hard to be firm with her.
My favorite Maggie moments include when she is sleepy and wants to cuddle; serious conversations about topics ranging from the nature of God to why she has to go to kindergarten next year; telling knock-knock jokes back and forth; playing "I Spy" in the car; making collages; baking cupcakes or cookies; picking her up at preschool and watching as she catches sight of me, grins, screeches "MOMMY!" and runs to me for a big hug and kiss.
